This may be the most important chapter in this book. Nothing else matters if you never take the step of opening your mouth and saying the words. So this chapter is about the exact words.
When You Do Not Know Where to Start
▸ “Something happened that scared me.”
▸ “I need to talk to someone about something at home.”
▸ “I’m in a relationship that doesn’t feel safe.”
▸ “I’m having thoughts that scare me, and I need help.”
▸ “I don’t know how to explain it. I just know something is wrong.”
That first sentence is the hardest part. Everything after it gets easier.
What to Say to a Counselor
▸ “Can you tell me what you are required to report and what stays between us?”
▸ “I wrote it down because I was afraid I’d lose my nerve.”
What to Text a Friend
▸ “Hey. I need to tell you something. Please just listen.”
▸ “Things at home aren’t good. I don’t want advice right now. I just need someone to know.”
When Your Voice Shakes
Your voice will shake. That is okay. Shaking means your body recognizes that what you are doing is important and dangerous and brave. If your voice breaks, say: “This is really hard for me to talk about.” If you start to cry, let yourself cry. The tears are making room for the words.
When You Are Embarrassed
▸ “I’m embarrassed to say this, but I need help.”
▸ “I know this sounds bad. I need you to hear all of it before you react.”
Embarrassment is the last wall the abuser built inside your mind. The truth is: people will think you are brave. Because you are.
If the First Person Does Not Help
Sometimes the first person you tell minimizes, disbelieves, or changes the subject.
▸ Tell a second person. And a third. Keep talking until someone listens.
▸ Call a hotline. The people on the other end are trained to believe you.
Asking for help is not a sign that God has failed you. It is a sign that God placed people in your life for this exact moment.